Friday, May 29, 2015

Visiting Vietnam: Home of weasel coffee


People ask me why I'm going to Vietnam this summer, and now I have a very specific answer: for the weasel coffee.

I had never heard of weasel coffee until I came across this reference in a travel book I was leafing through.
"Vietnamese coffee is unique, and comes in a wide selection of flavors, including vanilla, anise, and chocolate. There are three varieties of coffee -- Arabica, Robusta, and Weasel."
Weasel coffee? What could this mean? Read on...
"While Arabica is the most expensive and richest, Robusta is cheaper. Weasel is also expensive and is made from coffee cherries eaten and defecated by chon, Vietnam weasels."
Yes, coffee made from beans that have gone through a weasel's digestive track! Count me in!

Aw, isn't he cute?

As I understand it, the digestive process basically "pre-treats" the beans, partially fermenting them and removing bitterness and other off flavors. After the beans are excreted, they're collected, cleansed thoroughly (one would hope), and then roasted.

I checked this out, and what you start with (after the weasel part of the process) basically looks like a Baby Ruth bar with way too many nuts:


And yes, the resulting coffee beans are considered a great delicacy and command a high price as a luxury item (up to $500 per pound) in Vietnam and other places along the Pacific Rim. I'm not making this up. Check out this deluxe gift box set from Japan:


Weasel coffee has prompted some inspired copywriting. Consider this sample I found from an online seller:
"On the eastern edge of the Dak Lak province in central Vietnam, we found a coffee plantation that was willing to sell us a small amount 100% weasel coffee. These are domesticated weasels, that live in a large cages, like zoo animals, and are fed coffee along with other foods. The quality of the product is exquisitely rich, with a chocolate overtone and creamy mouth feel. The street price of this coffee in Hanoi is $800 USD per kilo. We sell in 100 gram packages and custom grind to your specification. One of my clients wrote recently and emphatically stated: 'this is absolutely the most delicious coffee I've ever tasted.' See if you agree!"
Eager for more? Check out http://www.weaselcoffees.com/.
This whole ghastly concept quickly joined my list of things that make traveling worthwhile. One can only shake one's head in wonder at what people get up to.

How could this even happen? Turns out there's a logical explanation that, alas, involves European imperialism.

Back in the 19th century, French colonists wouldn't let local people share in the harvests of Robusta coffee beans.

So the people resourcefully extracted the beans from weasel dung, setting the stage for one of the world's most unusual culinary experiences.

Some folks say the weasel's ability to select only the "best" beans worth eating is another factor in why the resulting coffee is so highly regarded.

Today, varieties of weasel coffee are also produced in Indonesia and the Philippines. But I'm sorry to report that the United States, despite its agricultural prowess, is not a player in this lucrative field. Geez, we can put a man on the moon, but...

Although "authentic" weasel coffee can cost $50 a cup, versions made with other ingredients that mimic the flavor are much more reasonable. That's what I expect I'll seek out in July, when we're marching around the streets of Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City.

So who'll join me in a nice refreshing cup? And afterwards, we'll all join together in a chorus of "Poop Goes the Weasel!"

Click for heartwarming video.


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